She told me how "soft core porn" should be up higher and in the men's section of the magazines. She informed me that these images were too much for her young son to look at and how degrading it is to women. One of the magazines was this year's Swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated, probably the number one magazine that gets whined about.
.
The second was an issue of Shape with Sharon Stone on the cover, at her age rocking a pretty nice figure.
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The second was an issue of Shape with Sharon Stone on the cover, at her age rocking a pretty nice figure.
I am a bit hazy on what the third magazine was, but the woman on the cover was completely clothed and not standing in a weird or provocative way. I think it was this issue of Cosmo. I remembered a Kardashian and subtle colors. The cover photo innocent, the words, well not nearly as raunchy as most Cosmo covers.
I found myself pretending to listen and looking busy while she dumped her feelings of "soft core porn" (words she used at least 10 times, but couldn't bring herself to actually say 'porn') and how she thought better of my employers' implied integrity. Little does she know that I, especially as a part time employee, have NO say in what magazine, book, or toy goes where. I also don't really have a preference on where the product goes as long as you PUT IT BACK WHERE YOU FOUND IT. Publishers have the power in where their product gets placed. The almighty dollar always winning out. But allow me to get back to the point at hand.
I felt conflicted on this issue that she partially was blaming on her child's innocence and her being a God fearing Christian (not the same as other Christians). The other part she was attributing to being degrading. In turn making it a women's issue.
On one hand I agree that the phrase "sex sells" is just pathetic, despite it's truth. I know it's true, I just wish that the word 'sex' was instead replaced with 'sexy women' because we usually don't associate an image of a sexy man or ACTUAL sex being the thing selling the thing....
I know that these women were primped, covered in make, and Photoshopped to high hell. That is MY issue with these images. The fact that we don't value our natural and real beauty. We are applauding Sharon Stone for looking so fabulous at her age, why not go all out and show the world how great she looks without the touch ups. The photoshopping is outrageous these days. We really don't know what celebrities look like unless we catch them in real life running errands. I guess that's why paparazzi and cheap celebrity magazines sell so well. We HAVE to know that this celebrity has bags under their eyes or that one skips a shower once in a while too.
My problem with all of this is that these unrealistic expectations are the standard we are being held to. Like seriously? How is a girl that's had two kids, has no energy, and a thyroid condition supposed to do with that?? Guess I'm lucky I married a guy that says I'm beautiful when I'm in my p.j.'s and looking an absolute wreck. (I have told him to get his eyes checked, but he doesn't listen). But not everyone is as lucky as I am to be surrounded by people who support them and praise them. My mother, she's the WORST person to go clothes shopping with, she says everything looks good. Which isn't at all possible to be true. So, I'm lucky.
There are girls in this world that are not being told that they are beautiful no matter their shape or size. No ever sits them down and says "Hey, those women aren't real. Don't think you have to be them to be beautiful. Being a genuine, good person is what matters." The statistics of girls with low self esteem and eating disorders is absolutely heart breaking. Check out this article I found from nyc.gov.
Here is where I am torn. With the decline in honest beauty comes a need for empowerment. Women need to find their inner awesome. Women are still viewed as the weaker sex. Why? Women can be the hunter and the gatherer. We can bear the children and bring home the bacon. I have secret conspiracy theory that many, many years ago men realized this and by brute force and some charming trickery made themselves out to be the better of the two.
Any way....
We have to fight for better pay, better jobs, political office, freedom to publicly breastfeed, and a million other things. Why do we also have to fight for what's beautiful about ourselves? With the quest for our empowerment shouldn't that mean we get to make our own choices of what we do with our bodies? Doing things like showing it off? You can bet your ass that as soon as I am comfortable in my own skin again, I will be posting bikini pictures on Facebook. So, why, when a women is comfortable in her own skin do we then judge her, or put her down, or discredit her for doing what we all wish we could do? Is there where being catty and the "mommy wars" come from? We hate ourselves so we put down those that don't?
I'd have a tough time trying to think of a better way for a woman to show that she is in charge of herself worth than when she's telling the world "check me out. I am amazing." and sometimes people choose to do that via photographs and some choose to do that via position of Secretary of State. So I applaud these women. They were either blessed with great genes or they work harder to upkeep their bodies than I could ever imagine. Giving up things like ice cream and french fries. I of course envy them, not for their bodies (well maybe a little), but for their confidence.
So, when we say "these photos are degrading to women" what do we mean? Degrading to women that lack their confidence and up-kept bodies, and some Photoshop wizard's handy work? Degrading to the individual putting themselves on display for the whole world to judge?
I will admit that I have posted and supported videos and articles to stop the objectification of women. I still stand by the fact that women are objectified and viewed as things or "creatures" instead of smart, talented, and confident humans. I think people that think only skin deep and people that are offended by these images are a combined force of objectification. It isn't dirty until you say it is. So when I see you objectifying women, that's when I'll call it out.
There's also another layer to this. Since when did the human body become something to be ashamed of? Before Eve bit the apple man and women lived naked and unaware. We know that, so why can't we go back to how things were? The American culture is so squeamish! You don't find body shame in many European countries. They don't have "women's issues" like we do here. Seeing a bare breast on t.v. is not traumatizing, it's natural. EVERYONE has nipples. Being taught to be ashamed of your body creates poor self image, which creates low self esteem, which, ding, ding, ding, leads to eating disorders and depression. If that customer that started this whole thing for me believes that we were created in God's image (she told me to have a blessed day, so one would assume that is how she feels), then how can she also teach her son that the female body is shameful and not meant to seen?
So the questions become... Should we teach our children, both boys and girls, that the images we see in magazines and in movies aren't real? YES. Should we teach our children, both boys and girls, that they get to define their self worth? Again pointing out that can be done via Secretary of State, Stay at Home Mom/Dad, or model. YES. Should we teach our children, both boys and girls, that what a woman does with her body is her choice? YES. Should we teach our children, boys and girls, that the human body is nothing to be ashamed of? YES!!!
Let me leave you with a short list of multi-talented, smart, and beautiful women. Then you go google them:
Mayim Bialik
Natalie Portman
Hedy Lamarr
Christy Turlington
Brooke Sheilds
Eva Longoria
Lisa Kudrow
Tia Mowry-Hardrict
Tamara Mowry-Housley
Cue Katy Perry's Roar.....
Shape cover image from This USA Today article
I found myself pretending to listen and looking busy while she dumped her feelings of "soft core porn" (words she used at least 10 times, but couldn't bring herself to actually say 'porn') and how she thought better of my employers' implied integrity. Little does she know that I, especially as a part time employee, have NO say in what magazine, book, or toy goes where. I also don't really have a preference on where the product goes as long as you PUT IT BACK WHERE YOU FOUND IT. Publishers have the power in where their product gets placed. The almighty dollar always winning out. But allow me to get back to the point at hand.
I felt conflicted on this issue that she partially was blaming on her child's innocence and her being a God fearing Christian (not the same as other Christians). The other part she was attributing to being degrading. In turn making it a women's issue.
On one hand I agree that the phrase "sex sells" is just pathetic, despite it's truth. I know it's true, I just wish that the word 'sex' was instead replaced with 'sexy women' because we usually don't associate an image of a sexy man or ACTUAL sex being the thing selling the thing....
I know that these women were primped, covered in make, and Photoshopped to high hell. That is MY issue with these images. The fact that we don't value our natural and real beauty. We are applauding Sharon Stone for looking so fabulous at her age, why not go all out and show the world how great she looks without the touch ups. The photoshopping is outrageous these days. We really don't know what celebrities look like unless we catch them in real life running errands. I guess that's why paparazzi and cheap celebrity magazines sell so well. We HAVE to know that this celebrity has bags under their eyes or that one skips a shower once in a while too.
My problem with all of this is that these unrealistic expectations are the standard we are being held to. Like seriously? How is a girl that's had two kids, has no energy, and a thyroid condition supposed to do with that?? Guess I'm lucky I married a guy that says I'm beautiful when I'm in my p.j.'s and looking an absolute wreck. (I have told him to get his eyes checked, but he doesn't listen). But not everyone is as lucky as I am to be surrounded by people who support them and praise them. My mother, she's the WORST person to go clothes shopping with, she says everything looks good. Which isn't at all possible to be true. So, I'm lucky.
There are girls in this world that are not being told that they are beautiful no matter their shape or size. No ever sits them down and says "Hey, those women aren't real. Don't think you have to be them to be beautiful. Being a genuine, good person is what matters." The statistics of girls with low self esteem and eating disorders is absolutely heart breaking. Check out this article I found from nyc.gov.
Here is where I am torn. With the decline in honest beauty comes a need for empowerment. Women need to find their inner awesome. Women are still viewed as the weaker sex. Why? Women can be the hunter and the gatherer. We can bear the children and bring home the bacon. I have secret conspiracy theory that many, many years ago men realized this and by brute force and some charming trickery made themselves out to be the better of the two.
Any way....
We have to fight for better pay, better jobs, political office, freedom to publicly breastfeed, and a million other things. Why do we also have to fight for what's beautiful about ourselves? With the quest for our empowerment shouldn't that mean we get to make our own choices of what we do with our bodies? Doing things like showing it off? You can bet your ass that as soon as I am comfortable in my own skin again, I will be posting bikini pictures on Facebook. So, why, when a women is comfortable in her own skin do we then judge her, or put her down, or discredit her for doing what we all wish we could do? Is there where being catty and the "mommy wars" come from? We hate ourselves so we put down those that don't?
I'd have a tough time trying to think of a better way for a woman to show that she is in charge of herself worth than when she's telling the world "check me out. I am amazing." and sometimes people choose to do that via photographs and some choose to do that via position of Secretary of State. So I applaud these women. They were either blessed with great genes or they work harder to upkeep their bodies than I could ever imagine. Giving up things like ice cream and french fries. I of course envy them, not for their bodies (well maybe a little), but for their confidence.
So, when we say "these photos are degrading to women" what do we mean? Degrading to women that lack their confidence and up-kept bodies, and some Photoshop wizard's handy work? Degrading to the individual putting themselves on display for the whole world to judge?
I will admit that I have posted and supported videos and articles to stop the objectification of women. I still stand by the fact that women are objectified and viewed as things or "creatures" instead of smart, talented, and confident humans. I think people that think only skin deep and people that are offended by these images are a combined force of objectification. It isn't dirty until you say it is. So when I see you objectifying women, that's when I'll call it out.
There's also another layer to this. Since when did the human body become something to be ashamed of? Before Eve bit the apple man and women lived naked and unaware. We know that, so why can't we go back to how things were? The American culture is so squeamish! You don't find body shame in many European countries. They don't have "women's issues" like we do here. Seeing a bare breast on t.v. is not traumatizing, it's natural. EVERYONE has nipples. Being taught to be ashamed of your body creates poor self image, which creates low self esteem, which, ding, ding, ding, leads to eating disorders and depression. If that customer that started this whole thing for me believes that we were created in God's image (she told me to have a blessed day, so one would assume that is how she feels), then how can she also teach her son that the female body is shameful and not meant to seen?
So the questions become... Should we teach our children, both boys and girls, that the images we see in magazines and in movies aren't real? YES. Should we teach our children, both boys and girls, that they get to define their self worth? Again pointing out that can be done via Secretary of State, Stay at Home Mom/Dad, or model. YES. Should we teach our children, both boys and girls, that what a woman does with her body is her choice? YES. Should we teach our children, boys and girls, that the human body is nothing to be ashamed of? YES!!!
Let me leave you with a short list of multi-talented, smart, and beautiful women. Then you go google them:
Mayim Bialik
Natalie Portman
Hedy Lamarr
Christy Turlington
Brooke Sheilds
Eva Longoria
Lisa Kudrow
Tia Mowry-Hardrict
Tamara Mowry-Housley
Cue Katy Perry's Roar.....
Shape cover image from This USA Today article
Sports Illustrated image from This usmagazine.com poll
Cosmopolitan cover from this site Cosmopolitan UK
Cosmopolitan cover from this site Cosmopolitan UK
